SEAN BOROKOVSKY

WHAT have you not been achieving due to lack of self-belief? How would your life look today if you had had the courage to make those decisions? What are you giving up today?

As a young boy I was the shortest in my class. In all the class photos I was in the front row. I would look up at the tallest kids and hope that one day I too would reach their height. I longed to be taller and stronger.

My favourite sport was basketball. There was nothing in this world that I like more than basketball. When I was seven I joined a basketball team and as the years passed and everyone around me shot up, I just grew a little taller.

I was completely committed to the game and would worry endlessly that eventually I would be off the team. So I had to be the best. I developed skills that were lacking in my taller teammates — speed, accuracy and dribbling.

I would hear people asking, “How can he play basketball at his height?” However, I was determined. Even more, I believed in myself that I could do it.

Two weeks before my 16th birthday we had an all important game against our strongest rival — Macabbi Tel Aviv.

As usual, our coach didn’t place me in the starting five. Two minutes before the end of the game the score was 66-65 to Macabbi Tel Aviv.

I heard my name and looked up at my coach who shouted “Sean get it in”. I was surprised, nervous and above all terrified.

This was my time! I have everything I need … and with one minute to the end of the game I found myself on the penalty line

If I scored, we would win the game. I looked at the basket, took a big breath. The first one was in. One more shot to go. I look around me, at my team, the audience, my coach …

The ball left my hand and, at that moment, everything changed. At that very moment, I became fully aware and a big smile spread across my face.

How do we create a low self-esteem?

Most of my mail relates to issues of self-esteem. The fact is that just as we create our own luck, we are responsible for the level of our own self-esteem. Or lack of it.

It boils down to self-belief. How often do you fear doing something — and then do it anyway?

Every time you chose to act in spite of doubts about your abilities, you give yourself an amazing gift — a reference point for how you can do something, despite feeling doubtful.

Most people fail to act and deny themselves important opportunities. They deny themselves the opportunity to create reference points for success, for action and for courage that are essential to live a vital life!

Most worrying –- and all too common –- are those who create reference points for failure, pain and disappointment; they deny themselves so many opportunities.

Most important, they deny themselves the possibility of having a go and making it happen. They believe that their past equals their future. They tell themselves that this is as good as it gets!

What choices are you making today? Are they reference points for failure or possibilities?

Four steps to squash your self esteem:

* Don’t make a decision
* Procrastinate
* Wait for courage
* Wait to feel better about yourself

Eight steps to boost your self-esteem (confidence)

* Make more decisions, and start caring LESS about how it MUST work out! (perfection)

* Get over your need for absolute certainty that everything will be perfect.

* Let go of not being allowed to make mistakes! It’s okay to make a mess, just learn from the mistake and MOVE ON!

* Stop procrastinating, and telling yourself you’re waiting for “the right time”. Who are you kidding?

* Stop waiting for courage to turn up – courage is only needed when you act. As long as you sit there waiting for it, it won’t show.

* Stop focusing on yourself and what you think you lack… because what you focus on is what you get.

* Focus on what you can do, today, even if it scares you. If it didn’t get your heart racing, it wasn’t that important to you!

* Give yourself permission to have a go!

Finally…

If you are genuinely committed to positive change in your life, make a decision and act today.

Have you been denying yourself for long enough because you have been giving into doubts about yourself?

The time to act is now.

You can write to me privately through my website www.corenergy.com.au or email me at sean@corenergy.com.au and I will respond through the blog on this site.

Of course, I will never betray your confidences or divulge your identity. This means that my responses will not relate specifically to your unique circumstances, but I will be able to give general, practical advice on a range of issues incouding how you can improve your self-esteem, gain confidence, deal with colleagues at work, improve your personal relations and deal with loss -– of a relationship, a job, a friend or family member.

In addition, I will –- when possible -– deal with your specific needs through private message to your mailbox. So let’s start the conversation. I look forward to hearing from you. And to helping you transform your dreams into reality. It could be the start of the greatest adventure of your life.

Sean is a performance Coach with the Coaching Institute, a member of the International Coach Federation and a certified NLP Practitioner living in Sydney.